Cyberbullying: What Every Parent Needs to Know
What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is bullying (seeking to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone) digitally. It takes place on digital devices (computers, tablets, phones) through texts, emails, apps, social media, forums, or games.
It’s most common forms include sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content, or personal or private information that causes the victim to be embarrassed or humiliating.
Why Cyberbullying is Different
Kids who are being cyberbullied are often bullied in person as well. Additionally, kids who are cyberbullied have a harder time getting away from the behavior.
It’s Persistent: Cyberbullying can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and reach a kid even when he or she is alone. It can happen any time of the day or night.
It’s Permanent: Most information communicated electronically is permanent and public, if not reported and removed. Deleting inappropriate or harassing messages, texts, and pictures is extremely difficult after they have been posted or sent. A negative online reputation, including for those who bully, can impact college admissions, employment, and other areas of life.
It’s Quick: Cyberbullying messages and images can be posted anonymously and distributed quickly to a very wide audience. It can be difficult and sometimes impossible to trace the source.
What To Do If You/Your Child is Cyberbullied
Document and report the behavior
Don’t respond to and don’t forward cyberbullying messages.
Keep evidence of cyberbullying. Record the dates, times, and descriptions of instances when cyberbullying has occurred. Save and print screenshots, emails, and text messages. Use this evidence to report cyberbullying to web and cell phone service providers.
Block the person who is cyberbullying.
Report Cyberbullying to Online Service Providers
Cyberbullying often violates the terms of service established by social media sites and internet service providers.
· Review their terms and conditions or rights and responsibilities sections. These describe content that is or is not appropriate.
Visit social media safety centers to learn how to block users and change settings to control who can contact you.
Report cyberbullying to the social media site so they can act against users abusing the terms of service.
Report Cyberbullying to Law Enforcement
When cyberbullying involves these activities, it is considered a crime and should be reported to law enforcement:
Threats of violence
Child pornography or sending sexually explicit messages or photos
Taking a photo or video of someone in a place where he or she would expect privacy
Stalking and hate crimes
Report Cyberbullying to Schools
Cyberbullying can create a disruptive environment at school and is often related to in-person bullying. The school can use the information to help inform prevention and response strategies.
In many states, schools are required to address cyberbullying in their anti-bullying policy. Some state laws also cover off-campus behavior that creates a hostile school environment.
What You Can Do to Help Your Child
Make sure your child is (and feels) safe. The safety and well-being of your child should always be the foremost priority. Convey unconditional support. Parents must demonstrate to their children through words and actions that they both desire the same result: stopping the cyberbullying.
Talk with and listen to your child. Engage your child in conversation about what is going on. Refrain from freaking out. Take the time to learn exactly what happened, and the nuanced context in which it occurred. Also, don’t minimize the situation or make excuses for the aggressor.
Collect evidence. Print out or make screenshots of conversations, messages, pictures, and any other items which can serve as clear proof that your child is being cyberbullied. Keep a record of all incidents to assist in the investigative process. Also, keep notes on relevant details like location, frequency, severity of harm, third-party involvement or witnesses, and the backstory.
Work with the school. All schools in the U.S. have a bullying policy, and most cover cyberbullying. Seek the help of administrators if the target and aggressor go to the same school. Your child has the right to feel safe in their learning environment, and schools are responsible to ensure this through an investigation and response.
Refrain from contacting the parents of the bully. Some parents confronted with accusations that their child is engaging in cyberbullying may become defensive and therefore may not be receptive to your thoughts. Be judicious in your approach to avoid additional drama and possible retaliation.
Contact the content provider. Cyberbullying violates the Terms of Service of all legitimate service providers (website, app, Internet or cell company). Regardless of whether your child can identify who is harassing them, contact the relevant provider. An updated list of contact information can be found here: cyberbullying.us/report. Just make sure all evidence is collected beforehand, as they will often irretrievably delete the content.
Contact the police when physical threats are involved. Most states have laws related to online threats, and law enforcement can assist in these cases either informally or formally. If your local department is not helpful, contact the County Sheriff or the State, as they have more resources and expertise in technology-related offenses.
If the bullying is based on race, sex, or disability, contact the Office of Civil Rights. The U.S. Department of Education takes these cases very seriously if children are limited in their ability to learn and thrive at school because of discrimination.
If necessary, seek counseling. Your child may benefit from speaking with a mental health professional. Children may prefer to dialogue with a third party who may be perceived as more objective.
Implement measures to prevent it from reoccurring. For example, if your child is being bullied through social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc.), set up privacy controls within each platform to block the bully from contacting them, and file a report (see #6). Also encourage them to keep talking to you before small issues flare up into major situations.
Sources: https://cyberbullying.org/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-cyberbullied , https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/what-is-it/index.html, https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/how-to-report/index.html, https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/11/what-the-law-can-and-cant-do-about-online-harassment/382638/
